|This Ice Tooth Tree photo is from December because it's too cold to go out today|
How Cold Is It?
It's SO COLD...
(From the Chicago Tribune, January 15, 2009)
•Mayor Daley is burning effigies of himself to keep warm.
•The Cubs will win the World Series this year because hell has frozen over.
•It's so cold gangbangers are text messaging drive-bys.
•Lawyers are putting their hands in their own pockets.
•It's so cold students are wearing footies with their flip flops.
•It's so cold cows are producing milkshakes.
(From ex-Wisconsinite, Mary Ruth, who now lives in CA)
•It was soooo cold this morning I had to turn on the car heater! But on the way home, I had to turn on the AC. (That's just rubbing it in.)
•Many are cold, but few are frozen. (As read in the Milwaukee Journal)
•It's so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp-post.
•It's so cold you have to open the refrigerator to heat the house.
•Your false teeth chatter and they're still in the glass.
•You'd have to jump start a reindeer.
•I went to put my coat on but it didn't want to go.
•It's so cold we need to weatherstrip the Canadian border.
(From my cousin Jackie and DjPROSTYLE)
•It's so cold outside I'm farting snowflakes.
(Mandatory nut joke)
•It's so cold squirrels are sleeping on ice to warm their nuts.
Ba da dum.
More nonsense and fart jokes on my new "Say What Now" page.