Friday, August 3, 2018

It's Funny If You Love Harry Potter and Hate The Pats

I've been meaning to post something about luck and fate after part of Sun Priaire blew up and not in the trending on YouTube kind of way. I had a crazy week after that and this weekend is a teeter-totter, so I can suck on a lemon or I can make—scratch that, have someone else make and bring me a pitcher of lemonade. Doesn't it look refreshing?

Nothing says, "I'm giving up drinking and I really mean it this time" like a can of cider and a pitcher of lemonade
I'm watching the local news—82-year-old landlady murdered next to a place I almost rented, deli hammered with over 60 bullets, and Sun Prairie has another gas leak. I think it's only a matter of time before some new nightmare parks itself at my doorstep. My nightmares are filled with dead-eyed, bristle-tailed thugs.


Until that happens, here's this stupid video—take that you chittering bastards—and some things I think my nephew Andy (his birthday is tomorrow) would find amusing.
He shares a birthday with former Brewer's catcher B.J. Surhoff, something his older brother mentioned several times on the day of his birth as in, "He can't, it's B.J. Surhoff's birthday!"

"I used to be the youngest until you came along."
Andy used to say, "Come on let's go" so often it was almost a third nickname (the other two being The Terminator and Guido). Through all the sugar highs and demonic energy, we did a fair amount of let's going.

Preparations for the first showing of Hunger Games. Did this obscene haul make us more District 1 than District 12? Notice the chips are "Heart Healthy"
Advanced tickets, who else would go to this with me?
Speaking of too much sugar, Andy's grandma who turned 93 last month told me she wants the sheet music for Carbaret so she can try out for America's Got Talent. Just thought I'd put that out there.


I don't think anyone can beat those performing cats, though, but I do love a dog popping a ball, that would be my act. I remember one day in search of cheap amusement we took bouncing balls to the dog beach. This dog we met popped them both and I almost peed my pants (which back then meant I was having a good larf as opposed to getting up from a chair or coughing).


My dad always got a kick out of Andy and the boys and after he passed away I found this photo in his wallet (I'm pretty sure I heard him say, "Get the hell out of my wallet!" when I did). Notice the old man's caption in his favorite medium, green labeling tape.

Christopher the unwilling cow, a pouting Andy, and Joey, putting up with everyone else's childish behavior
I was looking for a comment Andy made on his Facebook page and found this.


I got your Tombstone Piledriver right here
Here's one of my favorite headlines from The Onion (they sent me the sweetest rejection letter many years back unlike those clod hoppers at Mad Magazine) and that Facebook comment I was looking for:
Patriots Horrified After Superbowl Rings Cause Fingers To Shrivel Up, Turn Black
And Andy's response, "Clearly a horcrux containing a slice of Robert Kraft's soul."

Andy left, with oldest brother, Joey. They seem happier here than at Christmas. Their friend said they should use this as the family Christmas photo, but the cow is missing, so
Photo by Caroline von Schrader
Cheers and Happy Birthday my Terminator boy, "Now dance ya heavenly gobs!"


40 comments:

  1. Cool stuff! I never trust those squirrels either!

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    1. We agree on that, Brian, you guys let those squirrels know who's boss.

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  2. Happy birthday to Andy! What a fun post. I have to wonder about heart healthy potato chips, is there such a thing? The ball popping puppy is cute. Thank you for linking up and sharing your post. Happy Saturday, enjoy your weekend!

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    1. I think those were Ruffles, haa. I got a laugh out of the popping puppy which took me back to the beach.

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  3. Squirrels are evil critters.

    Love that pup popping that balloon. Shocked him too.

    Have a fabulous weekend. ♥

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    1. Yes, yes they are all evil creatures, Sandee. Part of the squirrel song claims they don't live in your bathroom but I'd bet my pile of nuts they are living in people's bathrooms right now. We had some take up residence in our attic which was on the same floor as our flat which made us flatmates.

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  4. Let me know when Andy's grandma gets on AGT )) ... that might be enough to make me go back to network TV! (The Simpson's link almost was.).... I'm pretty sure those bushy-tailed scamper rats could take over the world if only they had thumbs.

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    1. Ahhaaa, Sallie, she sprung that one on me yesterday. She said, "I can sing better than any of those people they let through." And then she added, "By this time next year I'll be ready." I should have known something was up when she started asking me for sheet music this week.
      Squirrels, shudder. Those attic squirrels scarred both my sister (Andy's mom) and me for life. I think they stopped by the wine cellar first, furry drunken b*astards.

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    2. Oh yeah, how much do I love the term "bushy-tailed scamper rats"!

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    3. I stole that great description from some other blogger a long time ago, so feel free to make it yours. One night on a camping trip we had chipmunks invade our home-built camper ... i'll have to ask my kids if that was what scarred them for life. Give your mom a hug and tell her to keep singing. never give up the dream ;>)
      California and Washington fires haven't jumped our border (yet?) but it is really too dry here too, so ...

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    4. She told me today she needs the sheet music not just the lyrics even though she can't read music.
      The only reason we weren't scared of chipmunks was because of Chip and Dale and Alvin and the Chipmunks and some off brand chipmunk sing a long record we had. I'd picture them saying, "Oh no after you." "No, no, no after you" and it was okay.
      So yeah, you've scarred your children for life, lol.
      Glad the fires haven't jumped the border—I didn't know about Washington.

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  5. Okay I give! You're the funniest person I've met in a long long time. Thanks for that. The dad comment, the cat reaching out from behind the door, why I'm peeing my pants. Going to sign up to follow you so I can laugh and wet my pants some more. LeeAnna at not afraid of color

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    1. My dad was a hoot and the cat wrestling video was from my nephew who along with his brothers worshipped at the altar of the WWF. I remember putting together a wrestling ring for them where they'd fight The Undertaker against Ninja Turtles and He Man. I don't remember any cats squaring off though.
      Well now, LeeAnna, let's not raise our hopes.

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  6. I like the squirrel video and the dog pops the big ball. I remembered once I laughed so hard, I had locked jaw!

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    1. Oh man, I think I'd rather wet myself than have my jaw lock again. I don't want any orifice locked.

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  7. You can always photoshop a cow into the picture. There's room right above their heads. The squirrel video is great. I'm one of those people that look when I hear "Squirrel!". Heck, I'm one of the people who say "Squirrel!" Why is that they wait until the car is almost right beside them and then run across the road? I don't like running over them.

    America's Got Talent love moving little old lady singers to the next round. So it seems to me. The hardest part, I bet, would be waiting for your turn to go on stage. Cheers, Jeanna!

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    1. That cow boy may have been there, I'll have to ask him although he's one of those, "Not answering back is my thing" kids. Pffft, Christopher. I heard that song many times on Dr. Demento, do you know that show? Ugh, they would make great wide receivers as it looks like they're running a route when they do that.
      Do they? My mother just got me interested in it. Oh yeah, waiting for your turn is the worst, even if you've done it many times.

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    2. Now I know Dr. Demento. He reminded me of Allen Sherman. What do you know? There was Allen on the sidebar. And Granny Clampett below that. The actress in Granny mode sang "I'm a Woman" on Hollywood Palace. She had a great voice. Now, I'm going to go Google Irene Ryan to learn more about her. Ciao.

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    3. I don't remember what he looked like, more the show and a goofy voice. Allen Sherman was the height of comedy to me. You couldn't top Oh Modder Oh Fadder and Mama Told Me Not To Put Beans In My Ears. On my sidebar? Do I often have ads, I don't see them from my end. I loved Irene Ryan, didn't know she sang, but so many did back then. Probably now too. My fav was Aunt Pearl, Bea Benederet.

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    4. I went over to youtube to check out more Dr. Demento. The sidebar there. :-)

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  8. The Christmas photo is priceless. I think we all have awkward photos like that, when we definitely were not in the mood for posing. The squirrels are truly evil, they enjoy destroying my fruit trees, by just biting a piece of fruit and throwing it down.

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    1. I'd forgotten about it until I found it in my dad's wallet, it's so perfect for who they were at that age and moment. On the way to a Christmas pageant my sister says. Squirrels are branch hopping vermin who want to ruin our fruit trees and our lives.

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  9. Just make sure the squirrel has some nuts :-)

    LOL @ the Christmas photo and description heheh!

    Have a tanfastical week :-)

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    1. I'm sure they hit the wine cellar then the kitchen before subletting the attic. I don't know about nuts but those squirrels have balls.

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  10. a pitcher of lemonade and a can of cider? hmmm, skip the cider and throw in the gin, laughing. (I do like fruit flavored hard cider though)

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    1. The cider was my cousin's, the pitcher of lemonade was mostly mine. You're all about that gin and juice, eh? Kudos to the waitress who brought me a pitcher when I asked for a refill.

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  11. I got the best chuckles form this post! Squirrels are my nemesis--they are pretty agressive pout here in Colorado. The Simpsons clip made me laugh--hope it will be party time in heaven!

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    1. Hated them as a kid, not fond of them now. Are they aggressive in Colorado too? I remember not being able to take my bike by the Capitol building because they'd jump on my bike rack. What were they after? That's what I've been hoping too, although Andy's middle brother thinks heaven is a trailer park.

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  12. I'll take a bottle of that Hard Cider about now...anything to cool off from this heat!

    Thanks for sharing!

    - Lisa

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    1. I don't know about the cider, but I've felt like filling a kiddy pool with ice and refreshments with me in the middle.

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  13. That picture in the wallet is sooo cute! Dad loves you all so much..

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  14. What a crazy week! 60 bullets! Maybe, I should run back to Germany! Happy Birthday to Andy!

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    1. And five more bullets for the DJ booth at the radio station where I volunteer. Are you in Kentucky now, Kelleyn?

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  15. Hi Jeanna, I hope tjing that happens to you is that you find a squirrel in your bathroom one day. I know they aren't supposed to live their but you only need to leav a window open and who knows what will come it?.. I just sat and watched the entire video and it made me chortle away, I can feel my son hovering behind me wondering what I'm watching!... I asy go Andy's granny! I do hope that's not her hand holding those tickets though, if so she may need a manicure before going on TV... I love that photo your dad carried around of the boys. It really is a classic. One to take out and look at when you feel low and need a laugh... I acn't imagine why Andy & Joey look happier in the lower photo, something to do with alcohol maybe?.. I hope he had a smashing birthday!

    Thank you for popping by and linking up with #keepingitreal.

    xx

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    1. Tonight is a big night for her because her favorite show, America's Got Talent, is starting their live shows, so we'll see how far this thing goes on her end. Maybe taking her to Karaoke night somewhere will do it (or make it worse).
      It was a special thing that I found the photo in his stuff although I swear I heard him telling me stop going in his stuff.

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