Sunday, January 29, 2017

Opinion Overload or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Don

The situation, I recently had one of two minor surgical procedures and have been homebound for a few days.
The problem, I've been spending time on Twitter.

The Tweet In Question (about Barron Trump)
Katie Rich @katymaryrich "Barron will be this country's first homeschool shooter." 


Trump named his kid "Barron" and I can't comment on that?
Just when I thought it was safe to crawl back into my social media bubble of like-minded liberals, SNL fires a comedian for tweeting a joke.
I see it as a violation of freedom of speech and the failure of a show that used to stand for Truth and Justice and who am I kidding all my heroes are dead.
Have people never seen a comedy roast?
And the bloody cherry on this flaming crap cake is that while searching for voices of reason on Twitter (yeah, I know) I found Dan Harmon (Community) instead.




Harmon is also known for Rick and Morty and Great Minds with Dan Harmon. Unfortunately, he is better known for going on drunken Twitter rants from airplanes.
I'm the "@dishcurtain" he's tweeting below.

Am determined to name something The Petty F*cking Sloths
I got lucky when he acknowledged his misinterpretation and responded with "not my fault." Finally Dan, I'm calling him, "Dan" now, followed that up with a tweet about  his'"misperceived intent,'" which btw I have no idea how to punctuate and would make a great name for a band.



That's a lot to read and who's got the time. Here are some photos from the Walker Protests of 2011.

 "...we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom! "
—Kang, The Simpsons



In sum during my three-day convalescence, I expressed dismay about a young comic whose life has been damaged by an eight-word tweet. Within a short period of time I offended a few of my liberal cousins, Dan Harmon and a very disturbed individual calling himself raiderman108.



We are coincidentally coming up on the sixth anniversary of the Governor Walker protests and this discord, this twonsense, has me thinking about how easily and strongly people react to things no one is arguing about in the first place. All you need is a logical fallacy and something to get indignant about and it's off to the races (or a day at the races, see quote).

Puppies are off limits

Groucho Marx said, "Humor is reason gone mad." I think people have gone mad because they have no reasonable sense of humor.  





Saturday, January 21, 2017

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Why Her Neck Is So Big

Sassy Girl aka Farty McBeezer is 13-years-old and you'd never know it to watch her in action. A black and white comedienne, she sneaks softly and carries a big stink. Although her alarming ability to pass gas is her most outstanding quality, her muscular neck comes a close second. No, not really, but it's impressive.
Here she is Channeling Carmen Miranda.

Timely reference I'm sure everyone knows who that is

Is that camera edible, if not find me sustenance, human Creature.
  Nasty.

Let me tell you why I should be on your team

Sassy is known for her portability, independence and noxious gases.


Bob competing with the the paper towel behind him for crumbs

Week's Favorite: What is that tantalizing fragrance, my dear? 

Don't humor me, liver lips



Sunday, January 8, 2017

That's How This Cookie Crumbles

Even my mother thought it was warmer today.
It's 10˚.
When life gives you icicles make lemonade slushies?
How about beating up a double batch of Peanut Butter and Jelly thumbprint cookies instead.

It's so cold the raspberry jam warmed up to freezing when heated on the stove





I did make some quickly eaten chocolate chip cookies for Christmas (and then gingerbread cookies to start my apres-holiday cookie marathon).
More on the crowd-pleasing thumbprint classic coming to the Wisconsin Candy Dish.


Thursday, January 5, 2017

How Cold Is It?

It's 1˚ right now and it's so cold my keyboard is preventing me from typing anything funny. With that in mind, here are some How Cold Is It? jokes to go with the icy photo.


This Ice Tooth Tree photo is from December because it's too cold to go out today

How Cold Is It?

It's SO COLD...

(From the Chicago Tribune, January 15, 2009)

•Mayor Daley is burning effigies of himself to keep warm.

•The Cubs will win the World Series this year because hell has frozen over.

•It's so cold gangbangers are text messaging drive-bys.

•Lawyers are putting their hands in their own pockets.

(Local)

•It's so cold students are wearing footies with their flip flops.

•It's so cold cows are producing milkshakes.

(From ex-Wisconsinite, Mary Ruth, who now lives in CA)

•It was soooo cold this morning I had to turn on the car heater! But on the way home, I had to turn on the AC. (That's just rubbing it in.)

•Many are cold, but few are frozen. (As read in the Milwaukee Journal)

(From Yuksrus.com)

•It's so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp-post.

•It's so cold you have to open the refrigerator to heat the house.

•Your false teeth chatter and they're still in the glass.

•You'd have to jump start a reindeer.

•I went to put my coat on but it didn't want to go.

•It's so cold we need to weatherstrip the Canadian border.

(From my cousin Jackie and DjPROSTYLE)

•It's so cold outside I'm farting snowflakes.

(Mandatory nut joke)

•It's so cold squirrels are sleeping on ice to warm their nuts.



Ba da dum.

More nonsense and fart jokes on my new "Say What Now" page.