Thursday, January 5, 2017

How Cold Is It?

It's 1˚ right now and it's so cold my keyboard is preventing me from typing anything funny. With that in mind, here are some How Cold Is It? jokes to go with the icy photo.


This Ice Tooth Tree photo is from December because it's too cold to go out today

How Cold Is It?

It's SO COLD...

(From the Chicago Tribune, January 15, 2009)

•Mayor Daley is burning effigies of himself to keep warm.

•The Cubs will win the World Series this year because hell has frozen over.

•It's so cold gangbangers are text messaging drive-bys.

•Lawyers are putting their hands in their own pockets.

(Local)

•It's so cold students are wearing footies with their flip flops.

•It's so cold cows are producing milkshakes.

(From ex-Wisconsinite, Mary Ruth, who now lives in CA)

•It was soooo cold this morning I had to turn on the car heater! But on the way home, I had to turn on the AC. (That's just rubbing it in.)

•Many are cold, but few are frozen. (As read in the Milwaukee Journal)

(From Yuksrus.com)

•It's so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp-post.

•It's so cold you have to open the refrigerator to heat the house.

•Your false teeth chatter and they're still in the glass.

•You'd have to jump start a reindeer.

•I went to put my coat on but it didn't want to go.

•It's so cold we need to weatherstrip the Canadian border.

(From my cousin Jackie and DjPROSTYLE)

•It's so cold outside I'm farting snowflakes.

(Mandatory nut joke)

•It's so cold squirrels are sleeping on ice to warm their nuts.



Ba da dum.

More nonsense and fart jokes on my new "Say What Now" page.







30 comments:

  1. It's so cold my firewood is frozen together. - Margy

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    1. Good One, PRB! Love it. And I believe it.

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  2. Love these lines!
    Hope to see you at http://image-in-ing.blogspot.com/2017/01/church-of-primacy-of-peter.html

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    1. Pretty corny, eh, I especially love how outdated the ones from the Chicago Tribune are.

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  3. Like that one about the fridge and the flipflops. The last I have seen (crazy, with shorts too), and lately, what can't go in the fridge (because it's too full), we'll just put in the garage - and the items actually hold better! Keep warm in the weekend and "see" you back in a few days for ALL SEASONS:)

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    1. Oh yeah, made the flip flop one up meself cuz it's so true. See you JSG, hope you had a lovely holiday.

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  4. I read your post from the warmth of our home while looking outside to our first snow aka "dusting" of one inch... haha! As a South Dakota native-- I get this A LOT more than I do our Virginia 1-inch. Thanks for sharing and giving me a nice chuckle! Hope to see you over where I write and post my own photos www.nicolebeholds.com. Let me know you stopped by--you are welcomed anytime!

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    1. Will do, Nicole. I felt like smacking the weather man upside the head last night when he kept saying, "zero." A dusting is perfect.

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  5. What a fine (but very cold!) photo! I'm so glad we don't get weather like that!

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    1. I was in and out and back in the car for that one, Dragonstar.

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  6. We had a few cold days over christmas but it has gone again now and we are left with grey and damp which I hate.

    Mollyxxx

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  7. Funny, it was nice here Christmas and by nice I mean double digits. It's warming up a bit, 8˚ right now and even warmer tomorrow. So yee friggin' ha!

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  8. I'd love to have a winter scene like that to capture

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  9. Ohhhh I don't know about that. I've come to think of 20 and sunny as warm and a lot of stuff can happen to your equipment in cold weather. And it's not good for the camera either. Ba da dum.

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  10. Replies
    1. Thanks, Robert, I keep trying to convey how cold it is and I thought the ice teeth might say something.

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  11. Great photo, it's been really cold here too and we want some snow! Just a little bit for the children to play in not enough to mess with the traffic Lol #MySundayPhoto

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    1. The perfect snow would be fall gently when I'm in the mood for it and melt away like a good sport when I've had enough. I passed a dirty snow fort today and wondered if the kids who built it still play with it. I don't think dirt is much of a factor when you're a kid.

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  12. Replies
    1. I half expected to free in mid step, Brooke.

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  13. Gorgeous photo, so much snow! We are in Southern Spain so missing the snow this winter, although we did pop to the Sierra Nevadas for a spot of sledging. Nowhere near as cold as you though! #mysundayphoto

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    1. I just read one of your posts, how exciting! How nice you get to travel like that for a spot of sledding, lol. #jealous

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  14. Very funny,those joke gave me a giggle! What an amazing sight, that tree looks amazing.

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    1. Why thanks MBEB. We'll see who's laughing if I venture out this weekend.

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  15. Such a fun post! Cold front moved into Florida and all of us Floridians are wrapped up!

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  16. This is a wonderful photo! Chicago humor is great :)

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    1. There seems to be a long and proud history of humor in Chicago. And from what I remember a decent music scene and most excellent pizza and ribs.

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  17. Too cold? I dream of being too cold. we are still sweltering in a hot summer here. 36C 'twill be on saturday!

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    1. Well come visit and make your dreams come true, Sherry. That warm tho', no thanks, I'll take the single digits before I can handle it in the nineties. Maybe if it were a dry heat...
      It was so hot refrigerators were climbing into freezers to cool off.

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