Friday, November 30, 2018

Home Grown

Although the last few months have been a Lifetime movie directed by Iwin Allen co-opted by Michael Bay with a Roger Corman budget, November did have one high note.

The midterm elections were a sunny blue in Wisconsin (Governor, US Senate, Attorney General, Secretary of State) and emphatically green in 16 counties.
Let's hear it for those incredibly high numbers. Hip hip hoo—cough—ray.

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Hay There (If You Knew What Was Good For You You'd Keep On Walking)

It's so cold I stood in the meat locker to warm up.
If you shook me you'd get a milkshake.
If you tipped me I'd be lean beef.
If I got off this platform I'd be ground beef.
Hey, wait, did you hear the one about the cow who grazed in the weed patch? The steaks have never been so high.

Their act could use a couple horns.
Am I keeping you up, I know it's pasture bedtime.
My herd has a great sense of humor so we're considered a laughing stock.

Mostly and shamelessly taken from Cow Jokes

Saturday, November 24, 2018

You Can't Dance Among The Cheese

This guy is just showing off tuning up with gloves on. Not being able to tune my violin without breaking strings or getting the dreaded string slack after fiddling (yup) endlessly with the stupid pegs even if you put rosin on them why oh why would it never work for me the horror—was the real reason I quit playing as a kid. That plus the battered case was forever spilling the thing into the aisles of the Park Sreet bus.

Ach, it sits in the upstairs closet and like Charlie Brown and the football, I keep trying to tune it with the same result every time.

Monday, November 19, 2018

Swingin' Into Heaven

I wasn't thinking of Louis Prima but why not? Swing, Hulk or drive through those pearly gates my friend, our imaginations thank you.

Stan Lee

Swing on.

Nowhere Radio

I was Looking for voices on a cloudy day amidst this outdoor artwork by David Sanchez Burr. Locals record their stories on the white platform which broadcasts (along with sound art ) over solar receivers attached to weather balloons. Listen closely, do you hear "decay as necessary for sociopolitical change" or weird music?

Sniff, sniff, I smell hippies

Friday, November 16, 2018

Magic Bus

I thought black and white might make this busy bus easier to sort out the way black and white is supposed to make comedy funnier. But cutting out the distractions of color like that nacho sign my gawd doesn't that sound good right now delicately spiced hot cheese lusciously poured over a pile of fresh crispy chips—doesn't seem to help. I want to run to that food stand with my mouth open and get everything.

I want it I want it I want it I want it

You cannnn't have it

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Hey, Dragon

This is the dragon guarding the marshmallows from the last post. He also goes by Stop #22.

Two more ingredients and I can make s'mores

Right on cue

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Because Forgetting The Brats Will Make Life Jolly Rotten

Thanks for that Susie now I can't get this song out of my head so might as well go round the bend full throttle and embrace the madness because...
Press Play Now (I highly recommend playing the video while navigating this post).

Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the beeest
Annd always look on the bright side of life

Da da, I think his hat has lice

Always look on the light side of life, da da, this thing is full of mice

If life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten

And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing

When you're feelin' in the dumps, don't be silly, chumps

Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing
And always look on the bright side of life
Da da, my neighbor has pet geese

Always look on the bright side of life,
Da da I think they're ducks oh jeez
For life is quite absurd and death's the final word

You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin, give the audience a grin

Enjoy it, it's your last chance anyhow
So always look on the bright side of death
Da da, too morbid for a kid?

Ah, just before you draw your terminal breath
Da da got away from me this did
Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you

And always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life
Happy Election Day everybody!
Always look on the bright side of life
Da da, the lines were pretty long
Always look on the bright side of life

My dad said grandpa would vote for the devil if he were a Democrat
Always look on the bright side of life
I mean whaddaya gotta lose ya know you come from nothing, you're going back to nothing
Whaddaya lost, nothing!
Always look on the right side of life
Nothing good will come from not voting, look at what happened last time
Cheer up you old bugger, c'mon give us a grin

There ya are, see, it's the end of the post
Incidentally, this blog is available in the foyer
Always look on the bright side of life
I hope you voted today because it can always get worse

Always look on the bright side of life
And Ian's is giving away free pizza if you show your I Voted Today sticker
Always look on the bright side of life
I told them, I said to him, Bernie, I said, they'll never make their money back
Always look on the bright side of life
Da da thank you Su-sieee! Mac

Copyright Eric Please Don't Sue Me Idle

Monday, November 5, 2018

Google, How Do Giant Squids Consume Their Prey?

The month of October was an Irwin Allen disaster of a month and no matter what I did the building burned, the ship sank, time tunneled and the giant squid, as has the last month, sucked. There were a few hours today when I wasn't looking for a moldy bottle of something with alcohol in it to wash down trick-or-treat candy, so here ya go.

Is it still October, no, okay, well done

Sunday, November 4, 2018


A few weeks ago I left the hairdressers on a gorgeous day with an ungorgeous haircut. This critter wanted to chat when I rolled down the car window before I backed out. He only reminded me what a squirrelly month it's been so why not. Maybe I'm the one full of nuts but I swear we had a conversation.

I'd dispute the charges if I were you

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Big Rope Little Dog

It's been a tough week so I'll leave you with a few more phone pics. This rope smells like you and you belong to me therefore ...